"Escape from the Underworld" by Karl Beecher

This review of an IFComp 2008 entry contains spoilers.

The whole 'lighter side of Hell' shtick has been done to, well, death. This IF needed to grab me from the get-go, but it didn't. It felt like a half-hearted parody of traditional interpretations of Hell mixed with some standard office props.

The implementation turns out to be pretty lazy, too. I was unable to refer to the lunchboxes as either "box" or "boxes." TAKE ALL ignored the two obviously portable objects in the cupboard yet tried to take four pieces of fixed-in-place scenery, including the cupboard itself.

Beecher introduces the player to three NPCs within a few rooms, yet none of them seems to have more than a few lines of dialogue. Evidently the receptionist wants me to do something for her. I intuit that the ashtray may provide me a clue, so I ASK HER ABOUT THE ASHTRAY. She only yells at me: "Leave the things on my desk alone!" I ask her about cigarettes and about smoking. "She just frowns and looks off to the side bemused."

I've been reduced to playing guess-the-noun, one of my least favorite games. I examine the ashtray: "It is piled high with the Receptionist's cigar stubs." I ask her about the stubs. "I know nothing about that." Turns out the right noun is CIGARS.

Elsewhere, there's a mechanic, who has a toolbag. You can ask him about TOOLS, but you can't TAKE TOOLS; they don't exist. Many of this year's entrants should repeat the following to themselves: synonyms are our friend. Implement them! How are your readers supposed to enter your world if you can't be bothered to make it accessible?